I’ve recently taken two whole weeks off, which for me was an example of radical acts of self-love.
Before I came to that decision though, one day I was having rather bad thoughts and they kept coming back – images and worries of things happening to me outside of my control.
So then I sat with this for a moment and examined – what am I getting out of those thoughts? Why are they coming back so incessantly?
And the thought struck me as suddenly and unexpectedly as if I saw a lighting in a middle of a bright blue sky…
…if any of those bad thoughts were to be true, the BENEFIT for me there would be that I’d shuffle everything in my life and have a proper rest immediately, prioritising my well being.
DING DING DING! ✨✨✨
I needed time off so badly that my head was sending me hard-core signals trying to show me “hey you, would you listen to me in THIS case?”
So I knew what I had to do. I promised myself I’d give myself two weeks off. And I knew I needed to keep this promise no matter what. I moved some things around and mere two weeks later I was off. Completely. No clients, no errands, no nothing. Just plain old doing whatever I want and whenever I want. (As long as it would be at home, because, well… quarantine/lockdown.)
My time off started and the first weekend I still did things. I went to do shopping, I was sorting out rent and bills payments and ordering some parcels with things that have been on my to-do list.
But by the end of Monday I was still mentally checking things off a to-do list, even though I was supposed to be relaxing. (The temptation! I am envious of people who can switch off in an instant. It takes me a few days to even allow myself to detach from everything else going on in the world and drop into relaxation-mode.)
And then I knew what I needed to do.
Something I’d come to call radical acts of self-love.
Inboxes (and especially email inboxes, but also social media DMs at times) are my way of dealing with tasks. That’s where a portion of my to-do’s comes from. And it’s where I find out everything: from when my parcels are on the way, what my clients need, all the way to announcements like rent amount changing, etc. Inbox is where a lot of things happen.
And I knew (even though I didn’t want to admit this to myself for those first three days)…
…that as long as I would be checking my inboxes, I would not be relaxing.
So I had to do something radical and decide to go cold turkey on it for the remainder of my time off.
For the next 13 days (from Tuesday till Sunday almost two weeks later) I have not checked my inbox once.
THAT was radical.
But it was also super relaxing. And after a while, you just see (and wonder how could you not have SEEN this before!?) that the world still goes on without the inbox, the sun goes up every morning, and you’re still fine. 🙂
For me it’s the inbox. But for you it might be a different thing.
What could your radical act of self-love be?
What is your body telling you you need (even if maybe in a convoluted way)?
Do you know what the biggest stressor for you is and how can you plan to decrease its damaging effect?
Looking at those things is how we learn, and how we can then set boundaries to make things better. Not just during a radical moment like the 13 day inboxes ban. Now I plan on not checking my inboxes in the evening after work (something I kept doing ALL the time), or on the weekends. So one change and one experiment brought an effect that is having an effect way beyond the initial 13 days.
We resist the changes because while we’re in a pattern, we cannot imagine things functioning any other way.
BUT, if we stay open even just a little bit, look at what we could do differently and TRY, we might just be surprised how things work out.
Give radical acts of self-love a try. It can only help.
Sending self-love vibes your way 🙂